Enemy
by sorrygrimmjow
Summary: James decided that he was past caring. TLJP Title change, used to be 'Past Caring'
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Enemy**  
>Author: <strong>SorryGrimmjow**  
>Genre: <strong>Romance/Angstish  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T**  
>Pairings: <strong>Teddy/James II, Teddy/Victoire**  
>Summary: <strong>James decided that he was past caring.**  
>Disclaimers:<strong> The wonderful world of Harry Potter is not at all mine and obviously belongs to the brilliant J. K. Rowling. The plot, however, is mine.**  
>Warnings: <strong>Minor language**  
>Word Count: <strong>2376 words  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Do you think I should continue or just leave it as this? Also, different style than my usual. Not sure how I feel about it yet. It's rather raw.

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><p>Just like that.<p>

Without any warning whatsoever.

James knows exactly how he should act, but does he want to? Not at all.

He tried to suck it up, he really did. He tried to look away and ignore it as much as he could because it just hurt. It gave him a right stab in the heart. And yet, he couldn't look away completely. He'd sneak another look, just a quick flash of the two together, all happy and giddy and content; another stab.

Of course, this was all when he could afford to look away.

As he was friends with the person who made his insides squirm and heart flutter, James had to make some sort of eye contact. Or else he would ask in that light but in no way soft voice if anything was wrong. No, James would say, eyes anywhere except on him or her. And then he would nod in an unconvinced manner but look back at her all the same.

Because she mattered more than James.

She always would.

Anyway, back to the present.

James is faced with a situation he can't stand: when they just show up unexpectedly.

His dad's bloody godson and his bloody cousin stand in front of him, their heavily clothed arms wound together and eyes casting loving gazes toward each other. It makes James sick and bitter. But he sucks it up the best as he could like always and mustered the most indifferent voice he could manage.

"Teddy," he greets, and said man would turn and look at James for the first damn time this evening.

"Jamie," Teddy says, his free hand – the one that wasn't all tangled up with Victoire's – moving upwards to mess up his blue hair. "Hey mate. Didn't know you were going to be home."

James watches Teddy's slender fingers slip out of his hair and then watches his hand drop back down with careful, venomous eyes. They flash back to Teddy and James gives a crooked smile. He doesn't want to create stupid, indifferent facades anymore. Nothing made a difference.

"Yeah, well, I am."

His response isn't feeble. He says it as a strong, short, and blunt fact. Teddy frowns.

"It's good to see you," James continues, his smile slipping and eyes darkening as he fixed his gaze onto his cousin. "And you, Victoire."

Her name came out in an annoying drawl, but James supposes he is past caring. He gives them a final, sharp nod before turning and retreating to his room. James shuts the door with a considerable amount of force and goes to sit down at the edge of his bed. He stares down at the floor beneath his feet bitterly, muttering as he does so.

"Victoire, bloody one-eighth Veela Victoire."

James scoffs loudly and glared angrily at his wall.

"Perfect, smart, kind Victoire."

What did she do that was so great? What did she do to deserve Teddy?

Why didn't James?

It stings.


	2. Chapter 2

James is still sitting when there's a knock at the door. He tilts his head slightly to look up halfway at the door.

"What?" he asks.

"May I come in?" Teddy's concerned voice comes in through the shut door.

And despite what James is thinking, he says yes. The door opens to reveal Teddy, who is finally alone. No Victoire hanging at his arm, placing careful kisses on his cheeks.

"You alright?" asks Teddy, walking over cautiously.

James shrugs. Not exactly a lie.

"You shouldn't be so rude to Victoire," continues Teddy. "She is your cousin, you know."

"Of course I know," James says. How could he not?

Teddy sighs and sits down next to James. The latter stiffens, feels his heartbeat quicken. He hates it.

"What is it?"

James can't bear to look at Teddy, but he frowns at the floor. How did he know something was out of the ordinary? James pulls his feet back hard against the floor and makes a grunt.

"Jamie," says Teddy in a lower voice than before, "I've known you for ages now. I know when something's wrong."

He doesn't really act on it though, does he? James scoffs.

"You're being a right bugger, you know that? I'm trying to help you; I'm not the enemy," Teddy says. James hears the anger building in his voice.

"I don't want you to be the enemy," James hears himself nearly whisper. He wonders if Teddy actually heard him.

But his neck burns and he can't look up at Teddy, not now.

Teddy speaks slowly now. "But I am?"

James nods. Of course he is; it's inevitable.

Teddy breathes out slow through his teeth. James peeks out at him through his dark mess of hair. Teddy's eyebrows are pulled together and the piercing there has moved with his left one.

"Well," he says, "I haven't the faintest idea on what made me the enemy, but I really don't want to be, Jamie. Could you tell me what I did wrong?"

Teddy sounds hurt.

No, no, this is all wrong. Teddy isn't supposed to be hurt.

James doesn't know what to say, and before he can think of anything at all, Teddy stands and moves towards the door. He casts James an upset look before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

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><p>Present tense is funny.<p>

I decided to continue this. Expect short updates. This won't be very long.


	3. Chapter 3

James doesn't know what to say, and before he can think of anything at all, Teddy stands and moves towards the door. He casts James an upset look before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

After who knows how long, James stands up. He figures he should talk to Teddy, tell him that it's not his fault that he's the enemy, he just is. James leaves his room tentatively and goes down the staircase even more tentatively.

He stops when he hears his father's voice.

"I'm sorry, Teddy," his father is saying, and James is glad that he didn't keep walking. He doesn't want to talk to Teddy with his father there. "I'm not sure what brought this along. James seemed fine to me when he came home for the holidays."

James can hear the Disapproving Frown in his voice.

"I don't know either. I just…I hate that I'm making him upset. And I hate even more that I don't know why."

"I'll talk to him if you want," his father suggests. "I might be able to get something out of him."

"Thank you, Harry, but I reckon I'm going to try again myself. If that doesn't work…I'd be thankful if you'd try."

"Good luck."

James frowns in the dark and hears heavy footsteps leave the room through the wall. He then hears a sigh – Teddy's – and has a strong impulse to go into the room so he goes. James sees the weary look on Teddy's attractive face and grimaces. He doesn't want this.

"Jamie. You okay?" Teddy asks despite the way he looks. Stupid.

"Don't worry about me," James says roughly, and he steps forward to get closer to the taller bloke. "You don't look okay."

Teddy frowns, eyebrows pulled together.

"Tell me why I'm the enemy. I'm serious, Jamie, I don't know why but I want to know. So I can fix it."

That look, the look that Teddy burns into James, the one that James can still picture perfectly when he looks away, pains him.

"You can't fix it," says James, glaring at his feet. "You can't just stop doing it."

Why is everything James says so bitter?

James realizes this too late, for when he looks up Teddy looks like he just got slapped.

"I'm sorry," James says quickly. "I'm sorry, Teddy, I'm just stupid and it's making me say stupid things and I don't mean them, really I don't."

"It must have some truth to it if you said it," Teddy says quietly. "You must be thinking something along those lines, if you're saying them when you're angry and frustrated."

James bites his lip hard. Yes, he is angry and frustrated. Yes, he knows that he was thinking that, and he knows that he is thinking that.

"It's just," James begins to say, then stops. How does he do this? How can he tell Teddy without actually telling him? "It's just that it's not your fault that you're the one who's making me angry and things; it's my own because I'm being irrational and selfish and stupid. Don't pay me any mind, I can manage."

James tilts his head so his shoes are in sight. His throat burns and his heart is beating wildly and _why is Teddy hugging him?_

"You can't just tell me to not pay any mind," he hears Teddy say furiously ridiculously close to his face. And even though James knows he shouldn't, he's thinking about how close they are and how their chests are pressed tightly together and if James just turned his head up then to the left a tiny bit – "I care for you, Jamie, and you're not stupid and I'm sure you've got a reasonable reason for being angry with me, just tell me so I can _try_ to fix it."

"I can't. It's selfish and unreasonable," James mutters, and it is.

Teddy grips him harder and James knows they must look silly because Teddy is so much taller than he is. James wonders briefly if Teddy can hear his heart beating wildly in his chest. He hopes not.

"Please," Teddy whispers, and it sounds so perfect but painful at the same time. "Please tell me why you're feeling so miserable."

James' throat burns and his palms are sweaty and he scrunched his eyes shut and before he knows it, he whispers back, "Because I love you."

And then James is wriggling out of Teddy's slackened grip, he can't bear to look at Teddy's surely bewildered face, and he scampers out of the room. One word continuously runs through his head in an embarrassingly panicky voice, and that word is why.

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><p>Wow so angsty and I'm in a perfect mood for it too so I think I'll write the next chapter now!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

James thinks about how idiotic he is. He had promised himself that he wouldn't tell Teddy how he feels because one, Teddy is a male, two, Teddy is dating Victoire, and three, Teddy is simply not interested. How could he? James thinks about how ridiculous he is and groans.

A knock on the door makes James snap his head up.

"James?"

It's Teddy's voice coming through the door; that's the second time today. But he said James. And that barely ever happens; only when Teddy is desperately serious does he say James.

James gulps and wonders what else he has to lose as he croaks out, "Come in."

Teddy is unreadable, which James hates. He is also silent, which James also hates. He feels vulnerable, weak, exposed. He hadn't meant to tell him. He wasn't supposed to know. And because he does, he wants to know what Teddy thinks of him now. Is it pity? Revulsion? Indifference?

James shifts on his bed. Teddy still hasn't said anything, and James has never been the patient type. He clears his throat, which seems to startle Teddy; Teddy jumps slightly and his eyes focus onto James, no longer glassy.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to find the right words to say," Teddy admits, and James thinks that he has never seen Teddy so awkward. Teddy clears his throat and begins talking again, looking straight at James. "By saying that you loved me, I take it you don't mean the brotherly way or the way mates say it."

James shakes his head, surely flushing.

"Good. Because to tell you the truth, I don't love you like that either."

James stares because he can't seem to do anything else. Finally he regains his voice and splutters out, "But Victoire."

"We're not serious about it," Teddy says, nearly cutting James off. "She knows it, I know it. We don't want this."

"Then why?"

"Expectations," says Teddy. "Damn expectations. When we were in Hogwarts, it was just a passing thing. It was supposed to be a passing thing, but it grew and developed without us wanting to. And then her family pushed her and everyone expected us to be together and stay together all perfect-like but it just won't work."

"Why?" James asks again, his throat terribly dry.

"I like blokes," sighs Teddy, averting his gaze for just a second. "I like birds too, but I just have so much more attraction and - and love for blokes. They just seem more right. Feel more right. Smell more right."

James swallows and wonders if he smells right to Teddy.

"And I've liked you most over the years – loved you most. I tried to push the feelings away because as right as they were, they were so wrong because you're younger than me, you're my godfather's son, and I'm with Victoire. It's wrong even though I wish it wasn't. I'm my own enemy."

Teddy looks immensely troubled and looks away at last.

"No," breathes James. "You're not. You're – you're amazing, Teddy. You're not the enemy. No one is. We're fine. It can be right."

James wills himself to go forward and comfort Teddy with more than just his stupid nonsensical words, but he's afraid. Teddy calls it wrong. And wouldn't it be, considering all of the facts?

But James considers them and decides that if one thing could be right in this mess, it would be the feel of Teddy's lips against his own. Maybe that would help. That would certainly feel right, James thinks.

He steps forward. Another, and another. Teddy's head is still turned away from James, his hands shoved angrily in his jeans pockets and James thinks about how he'll never get this chance again. So he goes forward; his trembling hands grasp Teddy's face gently but firmly as he pulls it slightly towards himself and kisses him hard. James is on his tiptoes and he's wobbly and Teddy must have noticed how his hands are trembling but those things start to fade from his mind when the obvious is blatantly stated: he is kissing Teddy Lupin. It feels incredibly right. How could he think that Teddy was ever the enemy?

Teddy is returning the kiss too, to James' immediate relief, and rather passionately, he notices. At one point Teddy bites and pulls on James' bottom lip and it's perfect and James wants more but they have to stop for air. They're panting and staring and blushing.

"Am I still the enemy?" breathes Teddy.

"I don't think you ever were," says James.

"Maybe not."

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><p>Annnnd it's finished. Thanks for the reviews; they kept me and this story going. If you liked this Tames fic you might wanna check out my other? c;<p> 


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